My name is Lask Albohe and this is my report..
While fulfilling my duties here on Earth to gather information from its inhabitants, I have discovered that an ailment I have rarely encountered at home is quite prevalent on Earth : the dreaded Donut Deprivation.. As you know, on our beautiful and serene home planet there is never a shortage of Donuts.. Everyone is always very happy and content with their allotment.. One shipment most certainly arrives before the last runs out. No one ever depletes their stock entirely, so well is our system run. However on Earth there is no system set up at all by the people who govern this planet to make sure the inhabitants receive donuts on a regular basis.. Can you imagine? I could never survive like that!!
The symptoms of Donut Deprivation include a major change in the personality. Someone who is usually content and cheerful can become agitated, anxious, aggressive and sometimes even depressed or violent. If the person remains without Donuts they will eventually settle into a routine and be able to continue functioning adequately, however the quality of their life-force becomes so insubstantial that one wonders why they go on.. The good news is that apparently no matter how long the deprivation period has occurred, once the Donuts have been administered the person can return to a normal happy co-existence with the world..
DO NOT WORRY--HERE IS LOTS OF DONUTS FOR YOU!!
END REPORT
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